‘Just the other week I thought I should tell my stories to somebody. That someone can learn from them. And now you are here. I’m 75 so I don’t have long to live. I’m looking for a new wife. I’m not going to spend my time alone. My wife past away last year. She had pneumonia, they tried to stop it in the hospital. But it didn’t work. I held her hand while she died. I miss the female touch in the house, the companion ship, the love, making love. ‘
I’ve saved four lives in my life. One day, I was sixteen, I came home and saw a lot of cars at the neighbors, two miles down the road. My mother told me their 8 year old boy got lost in the woods. So we went looking for him too. Already there were thousands of people searching in the woods. At one AM we went home. I was exhausted and ready to go to bed. At home I heard something outside. I thought it was a wolf so I loaded my gun. And just before I was ready to shoot I hear a voice ’this is my house.’ It was the boy.
In college a friend had taken sleeping pills. So we rushed her to the hospital. The doctor said we were just in time. I didn’t get recognition for that one.
On holiday I was at the beach and I saw this beautiful woman struggling in the sea. She was drowning. So I swam to her, grabbed her body. The undertow was really strong but I managed to get her out. On the beach she spat out a lot of water. I said we should have sex, since I saved her life. She said no. I was really pissed at that.
One day I was at this cat lady’s house. She was a librarian. Cat’s walked over piles and piles of paper. One of the cats knocked over a candle. The blaze was immediate. I swung the lady over my shoulder. She screamed:
’the cats!’ I said: ‘F* the cats’. There was no time. Luckily we got out. I got in the newspaper for that one. That was good.
Back in the day I was just wanted a hot girl and a beer. I wished I had listened more.’

Seized by Jerry on November 22 2016 in Hebron, Texas.